Saturday, July 25, 2015

To the girl at my yard sale..



I see you sitting in the passenger seat of your Mom's car, ignoring her as she is asking for you to come over. I watch as you huff, roll your eyes and say, "just do it yourself Mom." I see your Mom want to cringe at the fact that your disrespect is shinning through to me, as a stranger just sitting by. But what's funny is, I see myself in you. 

I wouldn't call this a good thing...

 But I must say that I do call it a blessing, to sit back and think of how sad it makes my heart, that I once treated my Mother in such a way. I want to tell you to stop, and to love her for all she's worth but I turn away. It isn't my place, because in your young age, you just won't understand. 

Just like I never did. 

But I do have a prayer for you. I pray that the pink streaks in your hair fade, along with your sadness. Your bitterness turns to love, and your lack of respect becomes a longing emotion for a friendship from your Mother. I pray that your sigh, becomes a joyful laughter even after your third call to Mom for the day. I hope that these teenage years are short, and you have many years making life matter with your unknown best friend, which will you'll realize soon is no one other than Mother.

It's so hard to see now what difference Mothers can make. They tell us how to act, when of course we already know how. They push for us to by a bargain, but we are blinded to the fact that bank accounts really do run low. It's hard to see now that you need your Mother, and even if it's hard to believe she needs you just as well. 

After all the years of hardships, of not realizing what a special love came from my Mom, I finally realized. I became a Mother and I see that her love was overflowing for me. Her choice to not let me leave the house so late at night, was the right one. The words of wisdom, telling me that I wouldn't look good in blue eye shadow, was the right one. When she said he wasn't the right man for me, I should've listened. She was right, and she was only loving me by telling me all of those words that I never wanted to hear. 

I beg you dear girl, step back and look into her eyes, and you will see the love that she has overflowing for you. I just pray you see it, before its too late. 


As for myself, I pray that I always have the courage to see the good in people. To see the young, that will one day mature into the wise. To hear the fights between Mothers and daughters and know that they really do love one another even through the hardships. To inspire, by just loving my daughter no matter how angry she may make me in a moment. But most of all, I just pray that I never let my Mom forget how much I love her again.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Where has Summer gone?

On the last day of school, I had so many intentions of doing it ALL with my kids. I wanted to teach them, read, go on okay dates, swim and live to the fullest during our first summer break together. 

The next day I headed to the parent teacher store and purchased some amazing Pinterest worthy projects, to help Bryar learn more effectively.

Then the summer bug hit. 


so worked {only a little} 




 Played a lot 


Charli attended Music discovery week and learned the beginnings of Violin. Which she absolutely loved. 


We are our weight in watermon and peaches 


And had to wash our hands 50,000 times because even though he is ALL boy, he doesn't like to be sticky. 


We hosted a yard sale and Charli Beth sold lemonade to raise money for the humane society.


We volunteered at the humane society on Mondays. 


The kids and I tried our hand at golf. Charli says, she recieve a scholarship for it one day. 


Charli had to get a new pair of glasses. Which sadly aged her by five years. 


We gave our chickens cool baths to try to cook them down on blistering hot days. Although, only one enjoyed this idea.


I taught Vacation Bible School while the children learned in their own classes. It was a huge blessing spending the week with sweet five year old girls.



Swipped candy from Daddy and sent him photos of it while he was working. In reflecting on this I now noticed that I failed in parenting and took a selfie of us sticking out tounges out...which is a no in our house. Ha! Whoops.. 


We played and took naps. But we didn't go "over the top" like I had invisioned. Bryar still cannot count to 20, and doesn't know every letter of the alphabet. Charli's reading has improved but not an entire grade level. Although, now looking back, it is the best possible thing for us. We needed this slow down, and break from the ordinary busy life that had become our normal. We have a surprise for the kids at the end of the Summer break, and I think it will be the most fabulous ending to a perfect low key summer. 

Monday, July 13, 2015

He's More Than Just A Dog

Growing up on in the middle of nowhere in Kentucky, we were destined to have dogs. What would country life be without 4 paws and a best friend to chase along side you? We had Dalmatians which are still to this day, a breed that I love. 

I will be honest and say that I'm an animal lover although I had never been overly obsessed with loving on fur babies. Then, I became a Mom to his man...


He stole my heart from the beginning. Of course at first I was a little nervous because, well the dog has an occupation. Dogs aren't suppose to have occupations? 


They're suppose to be cuddly, and playful. But that's the thing. I'm lucky enough to be a Mom of a dog who is blessed every characteristic possible. 


But he's more than just a dog. He's a best friend. A partner when things go wrong. A very loud conversation starter as someone walks by the cruiser. 


He's fierce yet, gentle. The way he loves is unexplainable. His heart is a gaint, and the cuddles are quiet enormous. His bite is something criminals never want to experience. But kisses are craved by our children. 


His super sniffing nose keeps the convict of their toes, and my Husband intact. His teeth chatter when he smells dinner cooking. Because he knows he's not allowed. 


His paws are as big as my face and he loves to remind me with them when I stop scratching his head. He's more than just a dog and more like another child.


He knows when it's time to go to work, and paces the floor until his partner is ready. He can jump as high as the door frame while waiting to go outside. We sometimes think he's part kangaroo. 


If you scratch his head just right he will slowly close his eyes and put his weight in you as he falls asleep. He thinks he's a lap dog, even though he weighs a whoppin' seventy five pounds. 



Don't be surprised if he chatters his teeth by your ears, he's become a pro at removing earrings with his front teeth over the years. He more than just a big dog, but a security system when, "Dad" is gone too. 


He isn't a fan of fireworks. Of course he thinks he needs to rip something (like our master bedroom mattress) to shreds at the sound of unwanted, "gun fire." He doesn't like when we play wrestle in the house, but he loves when bed time is announced. 


Come to find out I'm more than just a Mom of two children, but also a Mom to Gunner. He's apart of my world, and looks to us for care. His eyes are contasntly filled with love and as he grows older I also grow more in love with him.  He's more than just a dog, he's apart of my heart. 



Tuesday, June 30, 2015

A Servants Heart.

I recently taught my former Mission Friends four and five year old class that we are able to be help our church even in the smallest ways. I have always taught my children that we can be helpers of all kinds. As Charli has grown, I have noticed more and more how sweet and precious her heart is. She has a servants heart. I wish that I could learn from her rather than vice versa. I am sure that I will notice things from Bryar as he continues to grow and mature.

In our class we discussed ways that we could help. I then let each child pick a popsicle stick with a task to accomplish during the week. They were all so excited to complete their listed item. Each stick was written with easy accomplishments; clean up in Sunday School, holding the door for someone, saying, "Thank you" to a pastor, or a choir member.  Not only were these children excited to help someone, I could see in their smiles that they felt as if they were making a difference.


So, my question is..

Why do we as adult God fearing Christian men and women. just as myself continue to fail in such areas? My heart has been in a boat wading in a sea of mixed emotions since Friday's Supreme Court ruling. I can whole heartedly state that my heart is not content with where America is leading and I dislike the many decisions that have been made in the recent days. Even through the non-contentment of my heart, I can see that our generation of Christianity is in a magnificent time of our religion period.

Our work just as my little helpers in class is huge. We have the opportunity now more than ever to show love. Love? How easy can it be to show love when we do not agree with the decisions that someone is making, or their choice of sin? It isn't. But as Christians, we must shine His love. 

         You Shall love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no wrong to a neighbor therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
Besides this you know the time, that the hour of salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.
- Romans 12:9-12
 
 
Then, again my heart ached and tears filled my eyes as I went back and read over Romans 1:22 again.
" Claiming to be wise, they became foolish."
 
My heart wept as I thought of the quarrels that have begun, and the hatred that has been sat out in place rather than love. Our guest Sunday School teacher spoke this Sunday morning of the true meaning of, "wise." He stated that we sometimes mix this word up with intelligence, or even the term, "book smart." I could not agree more that being wise means the knowledge of His word, whether it is through life experiences or biblical study. I can say that I am not yet wise. I am only a young Christian learning and eagerly wanting to be filled with wisdom.
 
That my friends is why I have yet to publically speak of the Supreme Court ruling. I've voiced my concerns to my family, and have sat my nine year old daughter down to explain to her the times America has come into. But I have yet to throw scriptures out to where they are intended to be used as anything but wise person sharing their knowledge. Do I understand the bible wholeheartedly? No. So as a Christian, my position is to study. To wrap my mind, around scripture and begin to understand.
 
Why?
 
Because friends, we have a job to do. We have a light to shine now more than ever.
 
 
"For all have sinned and fall short in the glory of God."
Romans 3:23
 
I must remember as a young Christian, a woman longing to one day soon be wise in the word of the Lord, that now is a time to be His servant. His love can shine now during this historical period, more than ever. I can even be the smallest of servants by not shining hate through social media. I can love, even when it is hardest to do so. I can learn by even my littlest friends by putting a smile on my face as I head into this world that needs His love, more than ever. Will this be an easy task? No. I'm actually swallowing my words at this moment, while butterflies fill my soul because I know that this is not a task that will be easily fulfilled. But I promise, that a life of glory leads better than a life of foolishness.
 
A flag may change, colors may vary but the Glory of the Lord will remain.
 

Monday, June 15, 2015

Cool Kid.

It isn't every day that my children stumble my heart. Their innocence and kindrered spirits amaze me daily. They make me giggle until I feel like I'm going to pass out. But they never really say something that makes me sit back and think about the trails they will be facing as pre-teens, teens, young adults and so forth.

I pray over my children as they fall asleep at night. In prayers it isn't just for them, but the people they will encounter, their future spouses and even us as parents. My favorite thing of all is when they sleep together and my hands are placed on them side by side. My heart just feels overly full during those moments. 

Charli Beth recently recieved her new pair of glasses. She was never consistent about wearing her last pair and benign near sighted, it isn't a must that she wears them all of the time. But I must say, that she looks super adorable in them. 


She's totally in the stage where she prances around and thinks she's super fabulous in her new specs. She wants to show them off to everyone, even people who have no idea that they're new. I always say that the confidence of a little girl in a new outfit or accessory, is one that I would love to have. 

Then out of nowhere last night as Charli was showering she asked me, "When so cool kids start being cool? Like what grade do they start being called, "cool?"

And I literally swallowed my heart. 

I sat there for a brief moment trying to grasp the idea that my soon to be over anazlyzing every situation fourth grader, would soon face trails in this area. My mind filled with kids, being kids and wanting to be loved by all. Or the scary factor of, what if my child became that hell cat that bullies everyone? 

My motto to Charli has always been, "Have a kind heart." If she ever snips or says something she didn't take the time to think about, I remind her of this.  It's my motto in hiding, to never be like her Mother that just grew mean as other became mean.

I tried to think of a story in my life experiences to share with her as I explained. I told her that, "As long as you are friendly to everyone and love them all equally there will never be a definition of cool kid. Cool kids come and they go. But being friends with everyone is a win for them all. There will always be someone who thinks they are better, but that's part of life. As long as you do not let tell yourself that they are, then you will not have to worry about that."

I really had no idea what to say. I fee like I opened my mouth and those words fell out. Praise God that they did. 

I then told her about a friend that I had in High School. It was someone I never expected to befriend me. Our school wasn't extremely clique based, we had groups but everyone seemed to mingle. I was quiet and tried to be friends with all, but I just wasn't the best at it. This person really changed my perspective on people in general and how friends should really be. Even as an adult, when I think of friendship, I try to remember this experience. 

When I told Charli about my friend, who had treated everyone with the same kindness I could see her smile. She understood exactly what I meant when I told her that the person didn't have to be kind to me, but instead choose to do so. Which is how we should all be, and that we should give grace to others when they make us upset. 

If only I had a better perspective on these things as a teenager...  

It may not be the perfect form of parenting or the words to say, but it's the best that I know to do. I do know that I had a friend, who made me smile just by simply being kind. As the saying goes, "Nonone can make you feel inferior, without your consent." I must teach my daughter, to have a strong heart but one that isn't overly protected by a brick wall. The brick walls, can be so dangerous for everyone. (This Mother knows all to well about brick walls.

It stumbled me for quiet sometime through the night that Charli would already be worrying about fitting in. I sat in bed reading and thinking this situation over. Because let's face it, the years of pre-teen drama are coming upon us. It's practically came so fast, I feel as if I'm not ready to parent in that aspect at all. 

I wish that I could save my children from heart ache, or the failures of being a friend. But that's impossible. I cannot save her from mean girls. Or the moment when she fails a friend by being snippy. So all I know I can do is teach her, to love everyone, and most of all, to "Have a kind heart."



Wednesday, June 10, 2015

The Love of Work

I will never forget when my Husband and I started dating, he laughed at the fact that I never wanted to leave my small town. Little did he know, I would sweep him off his feet and he would marry me in a few short months. But, the laughs really came into place when I packed our bags and headed into a busier much more occupied county than the one I had been a citizen of for so long. We live in area that is still very rural. Even though the transportation department seems to be taking every inch of our front yard, we are cornered with a farm for many acres behind us. 

But, that isn't what it's all about. 

It isn't the land, or the scenery that comes wth rural areas that I love so much. It's the people. The love, wisdom, work ethic and pure genuine souls that come from small towns that I love so much. If you instantly just thought of an elderly man, that you've practically adopted as a Grandpa then you know what I'm speaking of. I have several. They're all different. But one thing they all know, is work. 



We instill into our children so much entitlement and wants during their childhood. We give them things, before they ever have to work for them. We get hungry and just drop what we're doing to run to Chick Fil A. Because what kid doesn't need to trade in their toy for ice cream? Mine do

We may give our children a little too much, too often. But we also want them to know work, and how to work for what they want. Charli has always been able to save money properly. She saved her birthday cash and funds for two years before we helped buy a horse. 

Although, we haven't ever really made her, do a lot of extra work. Of course she does chores around the house, and cleaned her horses barn. So this year we decided to teach her the life of tobacco. 


Curtis and I both were helping hands as children. I typically walked behind the setter, and gathered leaves during stripping seasons. Curtis had much more experience in all aspects, being that his family still raises. This past weekend, we took Charli Beth and taught her how to walk behind the setter, and place the plants that were missing, pick up the extras or fix the mistakes. 

She worked hard in her time, and honestly didn't complain one time. With every two rows we made, she would get a drink of water and come back running. I literally caught myself smiling through the heat and moments of, "Why are all of these plants messed up?" When a string pulled them backwards by mistake. She loves to work outside and I love the memories that she will make during her times of helping. 


While we worked, we started talking about how child labor laws were different now. How farmers and parents have to be more careful in how they labor their own. It was almost comical as we both thought back to even stories we were told as children. Both of Charli Beth's grandparents are blessed with hardworking genes. Although, one comes from farming and the other within transportation I feel blessed that our children know what work is and that it must be accomplished to get to the next day. 

We aren't slave drivers, nor will we ever make our children work their childhood summer away. We are parents who love our children, and are hopeful that they pick up the love and knowledge for accomplishment through workful lessons. 


Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Summer Break is HERE!!

Last summer when it was brought to my attention that my little, "Baby Bryar" could attend public preschool, I was torn. I wanted to keep my boy home and not send him off to elementary. He was just so little. He barely had any speech at all, and the thought scared me. 

Then as the months rolled by and October came along I obviously changed my mind. Yes, it helped that I would be within his classroom but it also made me nervous. 

With school being out for summer break I look back with pure happiness that we made this decision. His speech is incredible, and he has learned so much already. 

Preschool is entirely different now than it even was while Charli Beth was attending. It is learning through play and the kids just adapt so much better.



For our end of the year ceremony, Mrs. sanders and I hosted a, "Movie Premiere." The children walked down a red carpet to recieve awards and their certificate. We then watched a movie that showcased videos and photographs from the entire year. To say it was bittersweet is an understatement. I can honestly say that each of them will forever hold a special place in my heart. I was completely honored to teach along side Mrs. Sanders and to love on them all year. 






It was also a special honor for the classroom to be named a Classroom of Excellence this year. There are over 1,000 preschool classroom in Kentucky and only 44 have this title. It's been an interesting yet exciting journey! 




Bryar will was awarded "Best Naptime Award" at our Movie Premiere because the kid never woke up at the correct time. He always slept even though he never sleeps at home, and could sleep through a fire drill if it came down to it.



He has two more years of preschool and I cannot wait to see how much he continues to grow! 

Charli Beth has absolutely loved third grade. Her teacher is a special woman and I'm so thankful she had a figure in her life like Mrs. Harris. We learned a lot of Charli's strengths and what areas we need to improve on before fourth grade arrives. It's mind boggling to think that she will be a fourth grader next year. I truly believe fourth grade will be a lot of fun for her and the interesting history she will learn.




This is my first Summer home with the kids. Every other Summer I have either been working or keeping other children. I swear I get teary eyed thinking about the moments we will share together over the break.... (I swear these kids make me have silly emotions that I never dreamed of having before.)

So far, we've picked strawberries, played, gathered library books, made a tent and starting a new learning system for Bryar.









We truly do not have any major plans this Summer, except make memories :) 


Here's to Summer Break 2015!! 

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

American Hero

 I'll forever teach my children to love everyone, because respect is something that is so very important to our family. We teach to look people in the eye, use manners, shake with a firm hand, and always hold the door open for the next person behind you. We say our prayers at bed time, and of course we consistently pray for the lost; which even includes the ones who stray away from a Christ-like life. We fail miserably at a lot of things within our day to day life, but one thing I will forever try to do is not teach hate.

Someone's choice of life style may be the far end of the spectrum to us. We may completely disagree and even turn up our nose without even thinking of it. But I will never shame them to my children.

But something I do have an issue with, is of course the media.

Constantly we are exposed to things that the Media is backlashing on or asking our opinions about. It can be a Mother breast feeding her infant at a table while barely exposed, or a police officer who arrests a mother after she tries to flee from them. There are too many things to mention that the media tries to stir the pot on. They make us into a social media civil war by throwing normal, simple agenda items into a mix of hate. Then they give us....

Bruce Jenner
AKA "Caitlyn"



We hear beautiful, amazing, courageous...American Hero.

And after the last one I wanted to throw my remote at the TV, slam my Ipad into the wall and just scream at how frustrating American views are becoming.

Wikipedia describes a hero as,  a person or character who, in the fact of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, displays courage or self-sacrifice.

We can describe a man, who decided to change into a woman for self happiness an American Hero. But we can tell a veteran in Georgia that she is wrong for standing up to the college students for stomping the American flag. We yell "Cover up!" to the Mom who is feeding her crying baby while it is hungry. We turn our backs to the police officers who protect our streets from harm. The teachers that teach during the school year are reprimanded for being too "firm" with a child. If you can notice not one of the people are fulfilling an obligation for theirselves.

An American Hero is a selfless person. Someone who reacts for the betterment of others. Not for self happiness.

We continually tell women by our public image that they are not good enough, small enough, or smart enough. We are consistently trying to make Women into more. While we praise a man for becoming a woman? It just blows my mind. 

In the beginning a laughed at the jokes, rolled my eyes, and even made comments that medals should be taken away. Then I started thinking that in reality it isn't my place my judge someone for what they have decided to become. I became a young Mother at an early age and even though she is the best thing that could of ever happened to me, I really hate when other snarl at me for that part of my life. We all do things that we shouldn't have, and most of us have grown from it. It makes us into who we are and hopefully we become better from it. But we do this by the grace of God. We are all lost, all buried within the items of the world. Although, it's when we find ourselves through the gospel that makes our lives really count. 

It isn't a judgement but only a fact that it will never change that Bruce Jenner is still Bruce Jenner. Each and every day, no matter the surgeries or the enhancements. Deep within his core, he will always be a male striving to be a female. It isn't a choice to pick which gender you are. It's not a freedom that our men and women died for. He didn't sacrifice anything to become a Catilyn with a C. So he is far from anything to be considered an American Hero. 

As a Mother I just cannot help but to pray that my children never forget the true definition of a hero. I will continue to take them to parades with brave men and women marching while they wear their veteran hats. I will encourage them to thank the eldery couple sitting next to us at a restaurant for serving our country.  I will smile while my son gives a high five to a police officer, or hugs his teacher as we leave school. I will never teach them to have a false identity and to be someone who has life full of selfish regrets. 

A true example of an American Hero:



Story of Mommy

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I am a Christian, Wife to the man of my dreams and a Mother first before anything. I am the very PROUD Momma of Charli Beth that is a five year old little lady & and a new precious boy Bryar that was born in October! I just hope & pray to be the best mommy & wife as possible! II am a very simple girl, and the little things in life make me the happiest. My heart belongs in the country, and I can never imagine living anywhere else! I have amazing dreams for our family and I cannot wait to see where the Lord takes us on this journey!

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--If you have any questions or just want to chat, feel free to email me! @ paigeleana@yahoo.com --

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